Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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