there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
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They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
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Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I think we might need a safe word for this...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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