She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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