so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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