Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize