they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize