Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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