I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize