We're like a lot better than the average bears
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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