He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize