But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
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Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
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Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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