READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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