Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
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come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
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My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize