maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I could fuck to npr.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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