I hate all girls vehemently.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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