So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
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Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
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5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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