my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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