Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..

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  (310): I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas.. http://tfl.nu/m0nn
  Replies (24) Good night (3263) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...

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  (970): I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house... http://tfl.nu/qa28
  Replies (4) Good night (3218) Bad night (1365) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares

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  (832): Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares http://tfl.nu/x7b2
  Replies (22) Good night (6473) Bad night (705) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment

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  (201): nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment http://tfl.nu/9t1d
  Replies (13) Good night (1060) Bad night (4102) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.

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  (701): First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to. http://tfl.nu/orps
  Replies (9) Good night (2850) Bad night (1349) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.

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  (770): We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere. http://tfl.nu/s422
  Replies (2) Good night (1992) Bad night (794) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.

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  (415): Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits. http://tfl.nu/q1hp
  Replies (8) Good night (667) Bad night (1224) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Last night was just one giant freudian slip.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You made out with EVERYBODY.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Can I just bleach my life?

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  (702): Last night was just one giant freudian slip. (503): You made out with EVERYBODY. (702): Can I just bleach my life? http://tfl.nu/dy05
  Replies (3) Good night (1566) Bad night (469)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?

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  (520): Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago? http://tfl.nu/8k0d
  Replies (8) Good night (937) Bad night (418) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.

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  (609): Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel. http://tfl.nu/x8kg
  Replies (24) Good night (899) Bad night (340) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?

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  (610): Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that? http://tfl.nu/63qi
  Replies (5) Good night (1078) Bad night (315) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.

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  (413): I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing. http://tfl.nu/qpjl
  Replies (11) Good night (363) Bad night (1843) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was like giving head to a cactus.

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  (412): It was like giving head to a cactus. http://tfl.nu/0gn3
  Replies (14) Good night (391) Bad night (1830) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.

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  (+61): I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins. http://tfl.nu/5c3n
  Replies (5) Good night (1569) Bad night (211) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!

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  (309): WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?! http://tfl.nu/237p
  Replies (4) Good night (539) Bad night (74) Order T-Shirt

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