"it" just moved
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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