Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize