he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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