I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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