party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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