when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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