Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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