He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Randomize