if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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