Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
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I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
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just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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