after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
it's like iHOP with fire
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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