11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize