i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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