so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize