guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
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I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
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my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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