I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
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Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
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So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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