She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Drunk is not a location!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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