Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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