I heard we made out
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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