i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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