It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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