I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize