have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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