took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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