I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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