She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
