is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
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Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
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the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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