Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize