My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize