the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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