bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
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he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
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You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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