i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize